I love doing movie nights. Who doesn’t? Right? Well, I had decided to do a movie night at home with my kids on Friday. I went out and bought chips, popcorn, some vegetables to appease the grumpy Vegetable Gods, various fruits, more chips and some dips, crackers and pickles, cheese, juice boxes, gummy bears, jelly beans, paper plates, napkins, etc., etc., etc.
I may have gone a little overboard with the food and it may have been cheaper in the end to order a couple of medium-sized pizzas, but I wanted the night to be fun and special. And I had wanted to pick out a fun and special movie for my kids to watch. And it just so happened that Walmart had Deadpool on sale. And I thought: Oh look! Another Marvel Comics movie. And aw, Deadpool sort of looks like Spider-Man. How cute. I love Spider-Man. My kids love Spider-Man. I wonder if this Deadpool character is at all like Spider-Man? Maybe I should ask someone before buying it…? Nah, I’ll just get it. I mean, it’s a Marvel movie. Can’t go wrong with a Marvel movie. Right?
In my (weak) defense, I apparently live under a rock and knew nothing about Deadpool before watching it for the first time (with my kids). I vaguely recall seeing a (very censored) promotional commercial for it on TV while it was playing in the theater a few months back, and I knew he wore a red suit and that Ryan Reynolds played him–but that was about it.
So there I was on Friday night, popping popcorn and cutting up cantaloupe, as my kids buzzed around all excited about Movie Night and the “special movie” that Mommy had picked out for them to watch.
Thank goodness for my coffee table full of mostly teeth-rotting, sugary junk-crap, because 5 minutes into the movie I was urging my kids to turn around, plug their ears, and pig out on the food while I desperately searched around for the DVD remote to press PAUSE or STOP or…something.
The morale of this story? I guess it would be that not all guys in red suits are…er…family-friendly. And that sometimes, as a parent, we make “oopsy” mistakes. And that this Deadpool guy seriously, seriously needs a time-out and a mouth-washing. And that next time I should really climb out from underneath my rock and do some research on a movie before purchasing it for my kids.
Anyways, till next time…