This is going to be one of those weird, rambly posts that may make no sense, or may make a lot of sense. It’s about a tree, but not really about a tree. So…yeah.
So yesterday the tree in my parents’ front yard snapped at the trunk and fell over. We’ve been experiencing some extremely strong winds these past few days, and I guess the winds just became too much for the tree to handle. It wasn’t a particularly big tree; one of those pink cherry blossom types that look pretty in the spring. And thankfully no damage was done to the house.
But it was a tree that had been there since my parents had bought the house sixteen years ago. And it was a tree that I always, I guess, expected to be there every time I went and visited.
I never thought it would fall over and just be…gone.
As the chainsaw was brought out to cut it up into small enough pieces to be moved, my mom had looked at me with a bit of concern and asked, “Are you all right?”
And I had said, “Well, no. Not really. Your tree just fell down.”
And she had looked–a bit wistfully–at what remained of the tree and said, “I know.”
And as I watched the tree get hacked up, I couldn’t help but think: Why our tree? Why did the wind have to be so strong? Why couldn’t the wind have blown somewhere else?
Because see, last month my dad had passed away. And while he was in the hospital, I remember thinking: Why him? Why is all this shit happening to my dad who doesn’t deserve any of it? Why does he have to die?
And I guess the tree–that had always been there, but then suddenly wasn’t–made me think of my dad. And how he was there, and then suddenly wasn’t.
I know that sometimes a tree falling is just a tree falling. And that it doesn’t mean anything. I know I shouldn’t blame the wind. The wind was just doing what wind does.
Still sucks, though. Because I miss that tree.
And I miss my dad.
Happy Belated Father’s Day Everyone. It was a tough day for me to get through, but I still try to focus on and remember all the good times I had with my dad. ❤ ❤ ❤